Another typical week.

Time is running out, work is piling up.
But I guess that's just how it is, eh? Get up and work.
'Been staying back almost everyday as usual. Sometimes till 5 or so.
I think my art is going pretty good. And I'm left with the hardest-to-paint parts now. Water and glass. I'm 3/4 done with my painting. Prepwork. Argh.

AAArrrrrrrrggghh.

Progress. I need progress. 2 weeks+ left. Need progress. Somehow I feel that no matter what I do, there's always someone else who has done a better job. Someone's always one step ahead of me. Maybe ten. Stupid competition. I hate competition.

Where's my Stress-relief button? Wait, I don't have one.
No time. No energy to make time. I'm going nuts.
The weekend ahead is gonna be packed. I've got unfinished tasks to do.
And I don't see how I'm gonna be able to finish them.

Suddenly our form teacher is going on a grouchy/petty streak.
It's just soooooooooo ridiculous. Maybe if we were in sec one. But sec four? C'mon. The more space she takes away, the less she's gonna get from us. It's lame. But I can only bear with it. Close my eyes and let this last few months zoom past. We enter school only to get out once we're done after all. Well there'll always be those who make a difference. I'll hang on to thesem for now.

The Simpsons movie is out.
The Simpsons movie is out :D

Wait, why am I so excited about it?
I seem to be fascinated at the smallest things these few days..
Like, light bulbs.. remote controls.. chemistry practicals..
Maybe I shouldn't have stayed in the art room while the school was getting fogged for mosquitos..

Yep.

Just to sum up my weekend.. Had chem tuition in church yesterday (thanks teacher). And then carrom after YF! Oh, that long lost frustration of finishing the game when you're down to the final 2 seeds. Maybe that's the reason we stopped playing for a few years already eh? :D I still love that ancient game.. I remember when we were all crazy about it; when we'd play both on saturday and sunday. Now most of the people who played back then have all uh, graduated or disappeared from YF. Captain's ball after that almost killed me. And I'm quite glad I went for dinner, although that eggy-cheese thing left me somewhat appetite-less for dinner. The whole of saturday was good nonetheless.

Hamster nibbled on my thumb that night when I took it out.
But deep down inside I know it really didn't mean it :)
Maybe it was because my fingers smelled like KFC.

Today I finally repotted my two little plants which have out-growned it's pots. And now they look so much happier. I wonder when my Sunday School Plant will flower..

I suddenly have this huge ambition of becoming a sharpshooter, but I hope it passes..
Shall not elaborate here.. *pass pass pass*
Besides, my right eye is already off 25 degrees more than my left.

Well, it's Monday tomorrow.
MMUUNNNDAAEEEE....
Monday = PE(softball/cricket), art, weekly exercise and endorphins :)

Monday is good. Hallelujah. Please don't rain tomorrow

Racial Harmony day celebration today- kinda different from the rest I've had.

My school was 'it' this year to host the MOS Mr Gan, and a few other beeg people. So the school had to be on our best behaviour, and there was this big carnival thingy happening. Seesh. CNA camera man was there :D But I think all he wanted to film was Mr Gan's speech haha. So today we had VIPs from the government, principals from other schools, girls from Suzhou China, and other students from cedar sec and dunno what, and little performers from cedar and st gab's primary. But as usual, the few of us, when given the chance, would quietly move off to some place quiet to lepak; and maybe destroy a thing or two- maybe make a mess. So that's what we did. Played a little soccer as well. I guess the organisers don't really care if you don't stick to the programme flow, as long as the VIPs don't see you goofing off.

All we students really wanna do on racial harmony day is eat, have a half-day, and be merry :)

So some of us came to my place to lepak once more, and fairuz went under the knives :D
How the heck can one possess so many PIMPLES. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!@#$!@$*
Seriously. It's just disgusting. Downright sick. eeaaarrghhh.
But then I was laughing. Laughing in disgust..

That's all I really wanted to say about today- that big eww thing.

Today was pretty darn good.

PE was totally fun. Who says softball is for softies! Or did we play baseball? Bat, over-sized baseball on a cone, big gloves, bases. Whatever it was- our team totally kicked ass! Both batting and uh, outfielding/batting? Heh. Batting is definitely more fun! I must say I'm so proud of my 2 hits :D Golf helps I guess. Sheer spasticness when bren and I were making for homerun haha. Totally dig the game.

School was short today, due to the chinese listening compre. Today was a horrifying day for my eyes. First noel, then dexter. Ohmygoodness. And dexter performed an amazing stun- one that involved an over-fueled lighter flame and his uh, thingies. Poor him. Listening compre was okay I guess. Was seated right in front of the radio, although that didn't really give me an advantage.

'Exercised' when I came home. Went to the stadium to jog too :) I think CJC was having their training there, however no one stopped the only 'Gabrielite' on the tracks, so I just continued. I think I violated the "Do not run on the tracks from 1-5pm due to blabla training" sign though. Anyway, felt good after I was done. Exercise releases endorphins :)

Went through my old music CD collection too. I must say some of the songs still sound as good.. Strange how these songs totally suited my mood today, and I mean totally. I can't seem to upload one of them right now..

Oh well, maybe next time.

Today someone said something to me.
It was just a sentance, but what a sentance it was.
You've crossed the line- you're insane.

You are sick. You're very ill.
You've been sick since as far back as I can ever remember.
It has been growing, manifesting inside you ever since,
and look at what you've become. Clogged

You know what you are, you're fully aware.
Yet you refuse to change. You DO know what you are, I hope.
Or do you not? Can you not see?

You're the reason this house isn't really a home.
You're the reason why I've been silent all this time.
You're the reason why the rest of us never talk. You tore us apart.
You're the reason why they have to work so hard, yet it's never enough.
Your words- they pierce so deep. Do you feed on our misery?

What you said today only made me realise how very deluded you are.
You're still living in the past which you made up.
Something must have happened, but I don't know what.

I only wish you'd change. It's been sixteen years, after all.
I really can't care anymore if you happen to read this.
And if you do, just let me say that how you'll react is up to you.
If you don't, you don't. I live my life, you live yours.

So these few days have been okay. School has been normal I guess. Only thing bothering me now is that I gotta complete my final painting for art and all the make-up prep work. And time is running out fast(in that procrastinating way). Gotta get moving chop chop.

Seems like a lot of stuff has been going on in and out of school today. And all these 'situations' are all related to my class- in a bad way. And some people in my class are just plain lacking 'common sense'. Dudes, O level year- grow up, wake up. I wish these people would just disappear from our class one day and leave the rest of us in peace.

And speaking of situations, there was a big gathering of all the pai kia's, ah bengs and gangsters of St. Gabriel's and beyond today outside school :D Well, almost all of them. Well, no fights broke out- thanks to the police hehe. And I met my old primary school friend too, but he was here for the gathering so :/

Not sure if I'm gonna take part in that jamming competition. I mean, we would stand a chance to win fabulous goodie-bags full of water bottles, umbrellas, files and whatnot.. It's just that maybe now isn't the right time- with the deadlines approaching and the revisions that gotta be done. But then again, who the heck wants such fantastic prizes. And I heard everything will be plugged direct into the PA mixer. That's gonna suck.

What a day.

This week was tiring.

School's getting longer with either extra class or staying back for art. Speaking if art- time is running out. About 3 weeks or so till the deadline comes, and I still got quite a bit to finish. So I've been staying back almost everyday in school doing one thing or another. Ms Koh ordered pizza on friday for everyone in the art room, how nice :)

Chinese oral is freaking screwed up.
Just when it mattered the most, I freaking screwed up.
Stupid chinese language.

English prelimary oral on saturday. Got up normal school-day time, and it started raining just as I stepped out of the house. Soon it was pouring super-heavily, strong winds blowing and all. Even my umbrella couldn't keep my dry. Well, it did it's job by keeping my head and my upper body dry. The rest was uh, lost to the rain. Soggy shoes, soggy socks, wet pants in the air-con hall. Great. Teacher taking my group arrives late. Greater. But I guess I did pretty okay, because I kinda know my marks already. Physics lesson followed after that. I was dying in physics. Rest of the day I was pretty lethargic and sleepy.

Today was good, though I didn't do much. Wanted to go out for luch, but everyone was gone by the time we were done with MM practice :/

I've got a new favourite song which made my day today. Strange how it was sitting in my Library all this while and I never played it. I heart this song.

Today when I woke up, I was reminded yet again of growing. Sitting quietly by the window was my potted plant we received in sunday school. For the past week, it seems like it has stopped growing since the initial growth spurt when it germinated a week or so ago.

I think this reflects quite evidently so in my life, ever since the holidays ended a week ago. It's like once school starts, everything that I was inspired by faded away. The eagerness quietly slips away and spiritually I ceased growing. And this has gotten me pretty down these few days.

This happens, basically, when no one is there to be encouraged by. After all the activities that had happened in June, the sudden absence of close contact leaves me lost where I stand while others move on. And although all of us meet almost every weekend, I'm afraid it's fast becoming just a motion to me again.

Yeah, I'm afraid. I'm afraid about so many things. And I was just reminded again of the prelims and the big O's coming.. So once again I've got this shit feeling in me, that so many things need to be done but the only thing holding me back is myself. But I guess there's always time to grow?


The only thing holding me back is myself

The past 3 days have been okay..

Catched transformers on friday.. It was okay I gues haha.
I think the story totally doesn't make sense, but the action is cool..

Played tchoukball today! Playing full scale just isn't fun.. Maybe it's just tchoukball? :P
And I think I've got a broken thumb :( Now it hurts really bad even when I move it. And when I say hurt I mean HURT. Like, that kind of pain that can make you laugh in pain. I don't know what to do about it though.. Then again, I don't think I wanna do anything about it, because that would mean more pain with those evil sin seh's..

Gareth Chin
3 April 1991
Child Of God, YF'er!
Music, guitar, jamming
Brown, cream
gar3th_3@hotmail.com
St. Gabriel's Secondary


Jeremy
Brendon
Zachary
Daryl
Samuel
Marianne
Linnette
Phuay Hao
Fairuz
Dexter
Marcus Lim
Kevin P
Fiona
Amanda
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